maclean “Big mac” mullette
customer cicerone
My journey began as many do: furtively planting heather and crowberry in the Scottish highlands in an effort to cement my social position in the clan: slightly above goose-swaddler, and slightly below haggis-tester. Alas, in the dreary aftermath of a classic Scottish uprising I found myself roped to a longboat and acting as consort to a troupe of disreputable and voracious Viking raiders. After several long and salty forays along the Acadian coast we scuttled our boats in favor of a self-tamed herd of Appaloosa, riding bareback and askance through the Central plains until our blisters overcame our desire to pillage. We dismounted in Hell Gate, Montana--finding the cool waters of the Clark Fork river the best salve to our throbbing carbuncles--and formed an armada of inflatable river tubes that migrated harrowingly through the Northwest waterways until finding the swift, Pacific-bound waters of the Columbia. We disembarked on Sauvie Island, where a feast of saltwater pumpkins and over-ripe blackberries set me back in the domestic groove. I deflated my tube, barbered my dreadlocks, and found a more virtuous profession slinging wings and beer at FOTM.
First Wing March 9, 2008--Interstate location from fryer two, twelve minutes.
Sauce Pick “Famous Spicy Peanut”
FOTM Mission Admiral of Customer Happiness, Front of House Vizier, and Retailer Extraordinaire.
Kick Pick Soccer for FOTM Brewing Co. and flag football.
